Memories

The children were playing outside in the crescent this morning when I heard a lot of screaming and a dog barking.  The children came running into the house.  As I looked out the window I saw a rather large dog chasing the children.  The facts turn out that the dog was actually chasing a cat that had dashed under our car but it looked like it was coming to chase the children.  Nevertheless it was a large pit bull dog and the owner was a rather thin looking man with a white hoodie.  I saw the look in his eyes and the hollowness in his face and it was a look that I had seen before and too frequently sadly.

When we were in Liverpool, Simon and I got to know the lads who sold "The Big Issue" magazine.  Everyday they would stand in Liverpool City Centre.  Simon got to know them because he sold the "War Cry", a Salvation Army weekly publication on a Friday.  Very soon, Simon became an unofficial chaplain for the guys of the Big Issue and helped many of them out by providing clothes, food, praying with them and sometimes helping them to get to Rehab.

Once such lad, Darren, came round to our house every week, where I would do his washing and make sure that he had a good meal in his tummy.  Darren was a drug addict and an alcoholic.  He had been on heroin for over 20 years and was at the point that if he didn't meet his fix every four hours he would die from the shock of not having it in his system.

Like so many of the guys, they sold the Big Issue to meet their need; to raise enough money to 'get their fix'.  At least selling the Big Issue they were earning money legally.  How they spent it was their own affair.  Selling the Big Issue prevented them from mugging, burglarly or begging.

One Monday evening Darren came round to our house for his weekly visit.  As his washing was put into the machine, a story unfolded of how he only just made enough today to get his evening fix.  He said, "if it wasn't for you and Simon, I wouldn't be here tonight.  I wouldn't have got my fix and I would be dead by now!"

We wanted to know more by what he meant "if it wasn't for you and Simon".  Turned out that because we had talked so much with him about Jesus and prayed with him everytime he was in our house he gave prayer a go himself that night.  The story unfolded.

This particular Monday was a bank holiday and so the shops closed early.  This meant that all the Big Issue guys were having to work much harder to get the amount needed.  Darren would normally work until six, now he had until 4pm.  He was £9.16 short before he could afford the fix. The shops had closed, everyone was leaving town.  He was absolutely desperate.  So he took himself around the corner to a bench, bent his head and prayed.  He told us what he had prayed.  "Jesus, I don't know if you are real or not, but Simon and Nina talk about you all the time.  They tell me that you will meet my need and they tell me that you will be my friend.  Jesus, if you are real, could you please help me meet my need tonight.  I know that I am not a good person, but I really need your help, to help me get my fix.  I know I shouldn't be asking you for drug money but you know that I need this.  Thank you very much.  Darren."

We sat there breathless waiting to hear the end of the story.  He told us that when he went back to his stand, one man was let out of the store and came over to Darren.  He said "I'm sorry mate, I haven't got much change but you can have what I got".  Darren looked at the amount the man gave him and it was exactly £9.16!  As Darren looked up to thank the man he was gone.  No-where to be seen.

Darren went back to the bench, bent his head and said "Thank you Jesus.  Just, thank you!"

We all sat there and wept.  Jesus had met his need!  We don't understand why Jesus would give this lad his drugs money.  We don't know why Jesus didn't just heal him there and then to be free of his addictions.  All we know is that Darren met Jesus that day!  Darren left Liverpool a few months later to go to Rehab.  We heard from him once to tell us that he was clean.  He had to cut off ties from Liverpool but he was clean!  We don't know where he is or how he is doing.

The Message was given, Jesus was introduced.  The rest is handed over to Jesus for the work to be done.

I am reminded of the last speech from William Booth and I try to live that out.  That is what I am called to:  While women weep, as they do now, I'll fight; while little children go hungry, as they do now, I'll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I'll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I'll fight-I'll fight to the very end!

Kid's Playing Out in the Street

It is days like today that my children are desperate to go and play in the cresent where we live.  They look longingly at the doors where their friends live.  Hoping that they would come out to play.  It was not so long ago that they would pace the floor in agitation "can we go to the park?" "Can we go somewhere?"

Now they don't want to watch films.  They don't want to go to the park.  They don't want to go for a walk.  They just want to stay and play with their friends in the crescent.

I am mainly happy with this, although the garage keeps getting turned upside down.  The neighbours children are in and out of my house, up and down the stairs; but at least I know where my children are and what they are up to!

It has reminded me of my own childhood when I used to play in the back alley.  All the children from the neighbourhood would gather, and the alley was our territory!  We don't see children playing outside much anymore, which is a bit sad as this was a way of guaranteeing them getting a good amount of air in the lungs, therefore sleeping well at night.  This was also a way to guarantee getting 5 mins space with no-one stating "I'm hungry, "I'm bored".  Now I have the comments, "I've fallen over", "Jaydon is saying horrible things to me"....

I understand the reasons why children do not play outside their streets anymore.  Cars, strangers etc.  But one thing I remember is that because of playing outside I got to know friends.  I got to meet new friends.  I got to meet interesting friends.  It was from playing outside that a friend invited me along to "The Salvation Army".  If I had never been allowed to play outside, I might not have ever had the invitation to go to The Salvation Army.  If I had never been allowed to play outside, I might not ever of had the opportunity to meet with Jesus.  (I know a lot of if's)  I was introduced to Jesus through The Salvation Army because a friend had taken the time to invite me along.  All because I was making my way to her's to have a playtime.

My children are great evangelists!  They talk up the name of Jesus!  It is good to hear them in the crescent telling their new found friends that they 'Celebrate Jesus'.  They might get their theology wrong from time to time, but hey!  they are children and they are still telling others about Jesus.

They challenge me.  Who am I inviting to The Salvation Army?  Who am I befriending to invite them to get to know Jesus?  I am not berating myself, just being challenged by the fact that my children are outside now, laughing, joking, screaming and shouting and when the opportunity arises they are speaking about Jesus.

I remained challenged!

Memories - Commissioning

Very grainy - but this gives you an idea of the sense of occassion that was our commissioning - held in the Royal Albert Hall in 1995. Surrounded by family and friends and so many others who came to support and witness our dedication, commissioning and sending out. This is the moment of the commissioning itself.

Messenger of Hope

On 26th May 1999 I was commissioned as a Salvation Army Officer in the Royal Albert Hall in London.  It was a magnificent day, full of solemnimity, reflection, comtemplation as well as all the joy of pomp and circumstance.  I remember it as clearly as yesterday.  I was determined to enjoy the day and to take in as much detail as I possible could.  This was going to be the most important day ever in my life!  This was the fulfilment of all that God had called me to.  The reason why He called me as His child.

I was seven years old when I asked Jesus into my heart.  I remember kneeling before Him and saying that I want a friend with me all the time and Jesus was the friend that I really want to know.  Oh, that day of asking is etched on my memory.  It was very real, it was very life changing and one that has given me a passion for children's ministry.  I was saved as a child and I believe that children can be the very instrument of bringing others into a powerful knowledge of Jesus Christ.

I read my bible everyday, I prayed every day.  I was given a Good News Bible for my 7th Birthday and it was read from cover to cover.  I still have it now, even though it is falling to bits. I want to remember and see the child like faith coming from it; the notes that I wrote in the margin and the little thoughts that I noted down on scraps of paper.

At the age of 21 I went to a Divisional Meeting where the then Territorial Commander, Commissioner John Larsson was speaking.  He talked about 'Vocation'.  He said that everyone had a 'Vocation'.  He pointed at me and said 'You have a Vocation'.  There were hundreds in that room, but he looked at me and pointed at me and told me I had a Vocation.  I remember the feeling in my tummy.  The stirring of the Holy Spirit wanting to alight something within me.  So in complete obedience, I went and knelt at the Mercy Seat and asked God to confirm my calling which he did!  (Another time and another blog!)

Thus began the Candidates process.  This was by no means easy, it was challenging, made me think alot about myself.  But in my mind all the time was the fact that if God had called me He would get me through every step.

1993 I entered the Training College as a Messenger of Hope.  (Days of Training for another time!!!)

16 years of ministry has been an amazing journey.  Lots of tears, lots of laughter.  Seen many saved, seen many walk away.  Been hurt, been broken.  Been mended, been matured.

The Message has stayed the same.  Jesus loves you.  You are Special.  God wants you in His family.

The next 16 years?  Who knows.  But what I do know and am completely assured of:  Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever.